Time isn't healing

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

please just read this.

I'm not sure if enough people would see this. Or significant people.
But here goes...

I know I might've been a little hard to get along with these days.
And I apologize if any of you got offended by my sharp tongue or glare.
But this did not come out of the blue.
There were some issues going on that made me react this way.
And some others who thought I did not care about them; did not value their friendship; was not thoughtful enough; was not good enough for them and what not.
I hope YOU see this. Whoever you are.
And I hope YOU know it's YOU I am talking about.
Because as much as I'd hate to admit, you really wound me.
And I never thought I'd get hurt by one's cold shoulder.

But I am here, to say, that I value all of you.
Each and every one of you.
I try very hard each day to please you guys.
But unlike last 3 years, I have some things happening in my life that I can't ignore. And it is eating up my time and energy.
This year has not been a good year.
I hope everything would remain the same as before. When all of us did not mind occasional critism, and gossips. Now, I hardly know anything that's going on in everyone's life.
And all those times, I've told myself that I would not care, but in fact I have been lying to myself.
I care, DEEPLY. I guess this is a form of me showing my affection ... how annoying it may seem.
Whichever way, I do hope that YOU would stop being such an ass and think for a minute.
People have troubles in life. Troubles that doubles yours.

Also, I want to say that, I really love all of you.
However cheesy it may seem. I've never had such fun and excitement with anyone.
All the laughter weren't a waste, ya' know.
I cherish all the little things we shared. All the awkward moments that made this friendship work. All that animosity that created this bond. All the crappy message we say to each other.
I care a lot, I can't deny that. No matter how many times I've said 'I can't stand that idiot! He is such an ass hole!' I still want that idiot/ass hole to know that unless you give up on me, I won't ever give you up.
Now Rayhan, Wan Wei, I know I don't usually do this, but when you read this, please ask the others to read it as well, because you won't get anything as raw as this from my flesh-form.
Believe me, I'd unintentionally laugh, roll my eyes, joke, wave away this topic.
However much I'd loath to admit the fact that I've developed this horrible habit of smiling at the most "unsmilliable" things ever. So yes, I do put on a facade, no matter where I am.
Thus, tell this to everyone who you think is worth reading, whoever it is. Because I trust every one of your choices.

Always smiling! xx